Missing the seeing eye!

I am missing the seeing eye.  The one that allows me to see into the World Wide Wonders. It was cracked two years ago, 2009.  At first, it was just cracked... I could see EVERYTHING. Not a problem. Then.... the crack grew... and the blood came. But I could still SEE. Move a few things around and all was well.

But then, it became unbearable.  I did nothing about it. I just let it get worse and worse.  Everyone thought it was a design, or a screen saver. A closer look would prove otherwise. I tried and tried to deal. Even the life source was no longer lasting. But I keep pushing until, I couldn't do it anymore...

SO I decided to fix it. And the seeing eye came but when I went to put it in, wrong style. Everything else about it was perfect, but if you can't put it in, it's nothing but.  I had to put the old seeing eye back in... and now... it is completely useless. BLANK and BLACK but STILL LIGHT. THE LIGHT is still SHINNING.

I sent back the new seeing eye to get the RIGHT one and now I wait for the day that green paper will emerge to help me proclaim my seeing eye. I have to wait because I couldn't and still can't fix the green paper issue.  So until then... I have to use the non portable seeing eye.

This message doubles as the seeing eye of my spirit... right now, mine feels broken and cracked. Unable to heal. I tried to fix it and made things worse for myself. So now I stay broken, bleeding and busted. When people see me, they see that awesome cool screen saver until they get the opportunity to take a closer look. They might realize how broken I am.  Or maybe not. I don't put on a show... I just try to stay positive and do what my screen continues to do.. SHINE. It's so HARD... Jesus... it's tough.

Good Night

BFF

So I'm so excited for people around me that are in love and marrying their best friends!!!  That's the way it should be going down.  That relationship can last the test of times. Think about it.... a person you wanna share all your insecurities with, your faults and foes, go through ups and downs, be stronger with, learn yourself as they learn themselves... I think it is a gift from God.

I'm writing this to express my happiness but at the same time my sadness because that is what I desire. I have many male friends... some I consider my besties but not that ONE at least that I can see.

I don't sit in that long because I remain FAITHFUL! Who knows what tomorrow brings but I know that God is doing what he does best, so I have to follow him.

Next year I celebrate my 30th bday (the new 20)!!!! I'm so EXCITED... I will have my business up and running, completing many projects and just dancing my life away.  YAY!!!

At the end of the day... my feelings are fleeting but God is forever strong.  He helps me keep my peace, my joy and my passion for life with a purpose. I hope if you are reading this, that you found some words to keep you encouraged and always feel free to leave kinds words of motivation.

Love you all!!!  At the end of the day... God will always show you what you need.