I would say that I rely on God heavily... however lately my struggle with my flesh has been the worst EVER. I mean it's always been there but I didn't have to work as hard as I have been lately to stay away.
It's been 7 years since I've had sex. After I got saved 2003, I promised God and myself that I would wait until He sent me my husband.
It hasn't been easy nor did I expect it to be. There were times I came close to falling back but I made out some how. But lately I find myself running towards it at full speed and then stop and stare at it like man... I want that. I end up turning the other way but usually I run... now I just casually stroll away secretly hoping to get pulled back.
It's painfull because I can't just see me throwing away all this time I've spent saving myself for that one person.
And then I don't care anymore. :( It just brings me to tears. I know I'll make it through. Confessions of a Christian woman: I want to have sex. But I don't want to lose myself.
....
i appreciate ur honesty sis. i thats where the first battle is won, is where ur honest with where u are and how u feel. then u can give it to God and let Him give u the grace to overcome. ive been sex free for what..4 years. its a tough battle. so proud of u!
ReplyDelete"There were times I came close to falling back but I made out some how."
ReplyDeleteI know for a fact there are days where it's only because a situation got blocked that I wasn't diving in... Manwhat?! I feel you all the way on this. Well, except i'm a man lol.
Love you omie! I'm with you!! Keep up the fight!!!